Middle child stereotype debunked

Freshman Ananya Vadlakonda has heard all the stereotypes about middle children. They’re unmotivated. They’re resentful. They’re peacekeepers. By the infamous birth order stereotype, middle-born children are often seen as the ones no one wants to be in the family.

However, for her and many other middle children interviewed by the Falcon, few of these stereotypes are true.

“Although some people might say that the middle child is often neglected, I wouldn't because growing up, my parents would always make it a point to make sure that all 3 of us would get the same amount of their full attention,” Vadlakonda said.

The middle-child stereotype stems from the assumption that parents need to split their attention on the oldest child, who is often at the highest education level, and the youngest, who is the baby of the family. As a result, the youngest often gets either the most freedom or none at all, depending on the parents in each family.

Even though middle children are presumed to be struggling for attention, in contrast to popular belief, there are definite benefits to being the middle child as well. For example, some middle children do not feel the overwhelming pressure and responsibility that the oldest may experience, and they aren’t always as spoiled or rebellious like the youngest sibling may be.

Vadlakonda, who has a little sister in eighth grade, Alekhya, and an older sister, senior Amulya, denies these middle child stereotypes because of her experiences with being a middle child.

“I’m actually relieved that I’m a middle child,” Vadlakonda said. “I get to avoid a lot of the problems my other siblings face like being babied too much or having too much stress.”

According to an article published in Psychology Today, many middle children develop traits like humility and patience, which are desirable to friends, employers and even spouses.

Ananya cherishes the benefits of being a middle child rather than despising her situation.

“Being a middle child has brought me a lot closer to both my older and younger sister,” Ananya said. “I get the advice from my older sister and pass it down to my younger sister.”

Most importantly, different parenting styles are crucial in ensuring that a middle child doesn’t feel neglected. Parents who make it a primary goal to address this issue can make a positive impact on the family by including middle children, while those who don’t specifically pay attention to the problem won’t be able to make much of a difference.

Sophomore Kyle Yu, who is the younger brother of senior Kevin Yu and has two younger sisters, is also firmly against the stereotype as he has never felt any neglect.

“I’ve never experienced any negatives with being a middle child,” Kyle said. “I really don’t believe in that stereotype, as I often get the same amount or more attention from my parents than my siblings.”

According to Kyle, being a middle child has no correlation with being neglected. Rather, in many families, middle children are able to reap the benefits of both the older and younger siblings.

In addition, 2013 alum Edward Dong, a middle to younger sister Karissa and older sister Jenny, believes that being a middle child has influenced his success at Saratoga, including his class valedictorian title.

“There's pressure from relatives to regulate our relationships by modeling certain behaviors, which often includes 'effective' time management, diligence and focus,” Dong said.

According to Kyle, as long as parents treat all children with the same care and love, there really are no detriments to being a middle.

“I view being a middle child as a blessing if anything,” Kyle said. “I’m very grateful to have such a supportive family.”