Senior loves old movies so much it hurts

“Old movies are so boring.”

Don’t ever say that around me unless you want to get slapped.

I know what you’re thinking. Old movies are nothing more than moving black-and-white pictures with no action and long dialogues that sometimes don’t make sense. But you’re wrong.

It kills me inside to think that so many people currently consider themselves movie fanatics without acknowledging the best movies of all time — those from Hollywood’s “Golden Age, which ran from the 1930s to the 1950s.

You may be thinking right now, “OK, Sherrilyn, why exactly are Golden Age films so much better than today’s?” Well, I have the answers.

Today’s movies have become much too graphic in terms of both sex and violence. Don’t get me wrong. I love a graphic, over-the-top Quentin Tarantino film every now and then, but if you’re anything like my mom you can’t handle that type of gore. During the Golden Age, directors were forbidden from putting too much violence into films. It takes a genius, such as Alfred Hitchcock, to be able to frighten an audience without showing actual blood, but with pure suspense instead.

Try Hitchcock’s “Rear Window” (1954) starring Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly. The first time my sister and I watched it, we weren’t expecting to be scared at all. I mean, come on, there isn’t even a single drop of blood during the entire movie. But we were proven wrong, and within 45 minutes the suspense had us at the edge of our seats, anxiety-ridden and screaming at Grace Kelly through the television set to look out because the murderer was standing right behind her.

The same goes for romance. I apologize if you find it offensive that I’d rather not have to watch two people do inappropriate things. Instead, I prefer subtle romances, such as Frank Capra’s “It Happened One Night” (1934) starring Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert. During one scene in the film, my heart was about to explode even though the two characters were lying on two separate beds.

I’ve also noticed that today’s movies are much too predictable.  Especially with the generic rom-com, I can almost always accurately guess the ending, and it’s almost always a happy one. During the Golden Age, there was a perfect balance of happy endings and sad endings. Also, there was a wider range of film topics.

My favorite Barbara Stanwyck film, “Stella Dallas” (1937), centers around the complicated relationship between a mother and her daughter rather than the typical boy-meets-girl plotline. Plus, it gets bonus points for unpredictability after I found myself in tears when the ending was completely opposite from what I expected.

Not to mention, there was a much wider range of film genres during the Golden Age. I love a well-written film noir (a genre of cinema marked by a mood of pessimism, fatalism and menace) starring Rita Hayworth or Humphrey Bogart. Rather than in-your-face action scenes, 1940s film noirs featured hard-hitting dialogue that keeps you intrigued with every dramatic line.

And I can’t forget about those movie musicals, which are unfortunately nonexistent in today’s movie industry. Whenever I’m having a bad day, I know there’s nothing a little Judy Garland and Gene Kelly can’t fix. Or maybe the best dancing duo of all time — Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire.

Watching one of their lively dance numbers, complete with tap shoes and flowy dresses, always leaves me in awe of how captivating they could be. I promise you, watching any movie musical will leave you with a magical feeling inside.

So, as much as I love some of today’s modern film, nothing will ever compare to the glamour and enchantment of Hollywood’s Golden Age. And to all you self-proclaimed film lovers out there — I’m really hoping that after reading this you’ll want to add some early 20th-century films to your “To Watch” list.