Younger siblings learn to deal with ‘empty nest syndrome’

After a fun and relaxing summer at the end of freshman year, current junior Kanaai Shah was suddenly hit with the realization that the upcoming year would be completely different both academically and personally. His brother, 2013 alumnus Parth Shah, was heading off to college, leaving Shah an “only child” in his home.

“I was pretty close to my brother, so when he left, I sort of didn't know what to do in my free time because we used to hang out and play outside,” Shah said.

Shah, however, still feels close to his brother because his brother still resides in California. He attends Caltech and visits home approximately every two months.

“I don't think our relationship has changed much except for the fact that I am usually complaining to him about school now instead of the other way around,” he said.

For sophomore Rachel Won, she didn’t really feel that she and her sister, 2013 alumnus Michelle Won, were parting ways. After dropping her sister off at Rice University in Houston, Won said that “it felt like Michelle was going on a vacation, and the feelings didn’t really sink in until after [she] had boarded [her] flight.”

When Won returned to Saratoga, the reality of her sister’s absence hit her. Won was overcome by the emptiness of her own home. She was also surprised at her parent’s different attitude toward her.

“Being an only child is different and difficult at times,” Won said. “All the attention your parents gave to the ‘first’ child now falls on you. This is good at times because your parents are spending their time on you, but it’s unusual to have all of their attention solely on you.”

Won’s relationship with her sister also remained strong.

“Instead of talking about random things, whenever she comes over I get to talk to her about what is going on and catch up with her,” Won said.

Won finds it difficult to talk to her sister when they are apart because of the different time zones, and because of their mother.

“Whenever Michelle does make time, my mom always takes over,” Won said. “Heck, it’s so hard to make time for facetiming that my mom sets up appointments with her.”

In fact, Won has found the hilarity of her struggles to stem from her mother’s decisions. Won moved to her sister’s room after she left for college; however, Won’s sister took a few of Won’s possessions with her at her mother’s behest. In other words, Won was never to see them again.

“Never trust your mom when she says ‘don’t worry, I’ll buy you another one. Just let your sister take this to college’,” Won said.

Sophomore Kirthana Ramesh had a difficult time at first coming to terms with her brother’s absence from her home.

“At first, it was really weird coming home and not seeing him in his room and I had to keep reminding myself that he was in college,” Ramesh said.

Although living without her brother proved difficult at first, Ramesh believes that she and her brother, 2011 alumnus Navneet Ramesh, who attends UCLA, have developed a stronger and closer relationship throughout the time they have been apart.

“These past three years that my brother has been in college, has really helped me realize how fortunate I am to have a brother like him, no matter how cheesy that sounds,” Ramesh said.

Ramesh is six years younger than her brother, which made it harder for them to be close while he still lived at home. Now that there is also a physical distance between her and her brother, Ramesh believes that the age gap does not affect their relationship.

“Even if we are six years apart, it's not awkward to talk to him because he is honestly the most silly person I know,” Ramesh said. “We both bond over the most random things and it's just cool to have a brother who I can joke around with.”

Just as she made the age gap obsolete between her and her brother, Ramesh has found simple ways to do the same with the physical distance between them.

“Even if my brother is in college, I'm never afraid to call him up or text him especially for homework help,” Ramesh said. “I literally send my brother pictures of my math problems by text message and then call him up 15 minutes later for an explanation on how to do the problem.”

Ramesh’s brother still visits home once every two months and the two “pick up right where they left off.”