Blondes bring brainpower

Senior Sophia Cooper

How are UFOs and smart blondes the same? You always hear about them, but never see one! BA-DUM-CHING!

Jokes like this give blonds a reputation for being dumb. I hate to break it to you: we’re not.

Blonds, both real and fictional, have contributed much to society. Aphrodite, the Greek god of love, was blonde; so is Elle Woods, my personal hero. Hayden Panettiere is a dedicated animal rights activist, and Sandra Day O’Connor ruled over the Supreme Court while sporting yellow locks.

It always disappoints me when people classify blondes as dumb, without meeting them. Even at SHS, people are surprised that there’s a blonde girl in Calculus BC. (That’s me, by the way.) Rarely does anyone ask me for help with science homework, either. Being blonde has nothing to do with brain waves and intelligence, although it does give us a shortcut to having hot hairstyles without harmful chemicals burning out the healthy, natural composition.

Maybe you think our hair is blonde because we spend so much time in the sun and our brain cells get fried. I have also heard the explanation that our hair is light, so therefore we are air heads. Neither is true.

My cousin Emily, a very blonde swimmer, decided to dye her hair very dark brown as a social experiment to see if people treated her differently. They did. She surprised them as being just as loopy as before. That’s just how Emily is, and dying her hair didn’t change the way her brain functions.

What really perplexes me, is when boys assume I know nothing about football, just because I’m blonde. Not only was my blonde mother the best tackle in her neighborhood, but I play Powerpuff, go to Stanford football games and watch the NFL on TV. So naturally, when a junior boy tried to explain what a fourth down is to me at a recent football game, I got a little peeved. Then I informed him of the fact that I am actually the sports editor for The Falcon and am perfectly capable of understanding the rules of football.

Sweden, my ancestry, is the land of the blondes. Contributions to society from the Swedes include the zipper, dynamite and Swedish meatballs—proof positive that us blondes are not dumb.

After all, think of how sad the world would be without Swedish meatballs.