Boba: mediocrity at its finest

Boba is the Charli D’amelio of trendy drinks. 

It has unlimited clout, but for no reason. Its flavor is at best mediocre, tasting either too sweet or bland. More often, boba is reminiscent of rubbery grapes soaking in scented water. Of course, different people do have different tastes, but it’s hard to believe that so many people adore such an unremarkable drink. 

People drool over it to the extent that they still continue to walk around just to get their daily fix of boba, even though we live amid a pandemic. Let me just tell you, it's not worth the risk of getting COVID. 

Fundamentally, boba is just tea and sugar syrup. Not only does the boba cost more than it should, ranging from $3 to $6 per drink, you quite literally have to go through five Chloe Ting workouts to make up for a single serving. 

Of course, most people don’t drink boba for the health benefits, but drinking a cup of boba every day seems excessive. I love chocolate ice cream, but I don’t eat it as my primary source of afternoon carbs. 

And don’t even get me started on all the plastic boba wastes: The cup is plastic, the seal is plastic, and the straws are plastic. You’re not just killing one turtle for each drink you have, you’re killing three. Whatever happened to “save the turtles”? VSCO girls vanished when the world needed them most.

Boba lovers, I am so sorry if I have ruined your elixir to life for you, but your addiction must stop.