The influence of older siblings: always appreciated but have their own unique influence

Shaya Pourani arrived on the first day of school with a little more confidence than a typical freshman. With his schedule memorized and expectations already set for the year, he was well prepared to start high school.

As his fifth-period geometry teacher, Julie Scola, took attendance, Pourani heard the question he had been expecting to hear since he got arrived on campus: “Are you Tina’s brother?”

Shaya, like many students on campus, was not the first child in his family to attend the school. His sister, junior Tina Pourani, had Scola when she took geometry two years ago.

“I’m taking some of the same classes she took when she was a freshman, so a lot of my teachers recognize me because they had her in their previous years,” Pourani said.

School psychologist Michael Slone has been working with students for 10 years and agrees that teachers consider the personality and history of older siblings to a certain extent when encountering younger siblings.

“There is research that suggests that a teacher’s expectation of a student can be influenced by their experience with an older sibling,” Slone said. “I think this plays less of a role the more time that passes between the siblings having the same teacher and as the teacher gets to know the younger sibling better.”

Shaya is grateful to have an older sibling to look to for guidance as he encounters new situations such as high school.

“My sister has been a great influence on me because I look up to her and constantly try to follow in her footsteps,” Shaya said. “She is able to give me advice and she understands my problems because she has been in the same position before.”

Shaya has a close bond with his sister, who helps him with homework, projects and other challenges at school.

“Being the older sibling, I basically need to have everything together and be the person he can most rely on to help him through whatever comes his way,” Tina said.

Because of his older sister, Shaya feels pressure from his parents to follow a similar path through school and achieve equally high-reaching goals.

“My parents always push me do as well as her and take the same classes that she took,” Shaya said.
Slone believes that there are many parenting factors that can affect the development of a younger sibling.

“If parents differ in their discipline or expectations between siblings, it can have an effect, for example, a parent being more strict with an older sibling,” Slone said. “Parents may also adjust their parenting based on perceived mistakes they made with their older child or children.”

Another possible development-affecting factor, according to Slone, is the amount quality time a child gets with his or her parents. In typical scenarios, as a family expands, it may become more difficult for a parent to spend as much quality time with later children as they did with the first born.

Other siblings experience similar pressures and situations, but have a different relationship.

“She hasn’t influenced me too much,” freshmen Anna Sabel said, referring to her older sister, junior Heather Sabel. “She likes some pretty different things. For example, she likes ballet and I despise it.”

Despite being only two years apart and having a close bond, Anna and Heather hold different interests and don’t feel they pressure each other in any way.

“I love having sisters,” Heather said. “We’re best friends, and even if we fight, we don’t stay mad for very long.”

Nevertheless, both sisters still feel pressure from their parents: Heather knows she must set a good example and Anna is pressured to live up to Heather’s standard.

“My older sibling is in all honors classes and is a straight-A student, so my parents and even teachers that knew her expect me to do just as well as she does or better,” Anna said. “It’s a ton of pressure.”

While there are similarities and trends among younger and older siblings, they seem to change with each relationship.

“There is a lot of research on birth order trends that one can look up on the Internet, but I see great variability from family to family,” Slone said.