Senior looks back on mom’s battle with cancer

January 28, 2014 — by Candice Zheng

Even 11 years later, senior Kristie Lin remembers the confusion she felt from her tutor’s words.

Even 11 years later, senior Kristie Lin remembers the confusion she felt from her tutor’s words.

“Don’t worry, everything will be OK,” her tutor said.

Something in her tutor’s expression bothered her, and the words she heard made no sense.

“Why was she saying that?” she wondered.  “I got a good grade on my book report, so why is she saying that everything’s going to be OK?”

The words continued to linger in her mind. A few weeks later, her parents sat her down on the couch. The tension in the air was tangible, even to a 6-year-old; she thought was going to be punished.

But looking back, she realizes the words that came next were much worse: Her mom, explaining in simple terms, told her that she had breast cancer and was going to the hospital for a few days to get better.

Now, Lin realizes the gravity of that conversation. However, at that moment, her 6-year-old self was unable to discern what her mom was really saying. She didn’t understand what cancer was and didn’t know that there was a possibility her mom could pass away during her surgery. All she knew was that something was wrong and that she was scared.

“Honestly, before that, I didn’t know what was going on,” Lin said. “All I knew was that she went to the hospital a lot. She never told when she was diagnosed. Even when she was in pain, she made me think and feel that everything was normal and that the cancer wasn’t there.”

The day Lin’s mother, May Lin, went into surgery was “the scariest moment for the entire family.” Her brothers, Jeremy Lin, now 27, and Emerson Lin, now 24, did their best to keep their sister occupied by playing board games and taking her out.

“I remember that when Dad came back [from the hospital], he had tears in his eyes, which scared all of us because he rarely cried,” Lin said. “At night, he tucked me into bed and told me that everything was going to be OK. In a way, my family shielded me from the problem.”

The surgery took two days, but the results weren’t conclusive until a few weeks after the procedure ended. Lin’s family was wound unimaginably tight from fear and worry. By the end of June 2006, around three weeks after Lin’s mom entered surgery, the news came back that the procedure was successful and that she was going to be okay. Finally, the worst was over.

“It was a huge relief,” said Lin. “It was kind of like letting out a big breath after a long, long time. The tension completely diffused.”

Looking back, Lin has never sensed even one moment of weakness from her mother when battling such a debilitating illness.

“Mom is definitely my biggest inspiration and the strongest person I know,” Lin said. “During the process of going to hospitals for treatment, she never shed a tear, or, at least, not in front of me. She never pitied herself and went on doing all her housewife duties and took really good care of her children. Even amidst the pain and struggles, she was the pillar drawing us together as a family.”

After fighting long and hard with her illness, Lin’s mom was given the all clear during the summer of 2006, although she still goes for scheduled checkups to make sure the cancer hasn’t returned.

Coming close to losing her mom, Lin understands not to take anything for granted, as they could just as quickly be taken away.

“As a six year old, I had everything I needed: a nice family, community and education. I took things for granted like I deserved to have certain things,” Lin said. “I depended on my parents a lot, especially my mom. However, I’ve learned to put aside my spoiled attitude and build my own independence. ”

Lin has realized that, despite what her family had to go through, the one positive that came out of their ordeal was how it brought them so much closer together.

“We used to not talk to each other a lot, but after this experience, we started hanging out more as a family, calling each other and taking trips as a family,” Lin said. “We cherish each moment we spend together and make sure we’re all taken care of, no matter where we are.”  

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