On the twelve days before finals, my true love gave to me . . .

December 10, 2018 — by Justin Guo and Michael Wong

On the twelve days before finals, my true love gave to me:

12. Advice to study early:

What do you mean, finals are next week?

 

11 Hope:

If I get a 100 on the final, I’ll have an 89.49%. And teachers round up, right? It’s doable.

 

10. Motivation to finish the semester:

Should I even wake up today? At least let me sleep a little more. Those five extra minutes in bed will make a difference, I promise.

 

9. A positive and efficient working environment:

After four days without Wi-Fi, I finally went outside. Just kidding. I turned on data 20 minutes into studying.

 

8. Food:

It’s 10:30 p.m but Teaspoon is still open till 11 p.m. Down for a boba run?

 

7. Noise-canceling headphones:

Need light music to block out the ever-present distracti- who just texted me?

 

6. Legible notes to study with:

I don’t know where my notes went. Also on an unrelated note (pun intended), I can’t read my own handwriting.

 

5. Answer keys to endlessly long study guides:

Well, this is kind of unfortunate. I can’t find the answers in the notes you just gave me.

 

4. Emotional support after throwing my math textbook across the room:

Yeah, I know I’ll be OK. I’ve already accepted how OK I am. Mediocrity for life. Also, I need your textbook. Please? :)

 

3. A box of Kleenex to wipe my tears:

Tears of joy after studying, of course.

 

2. Reminders to sleep:

What? It’s only 1 a.m. I still have seven hours of studying left.

 

1. Nothing:

It’s not like anything will save my grades anymore. thank u, next [semester]

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