TOP TEN: ways to stay awake in class

1. Who are we kidding, you can’t.

2. Brainstorm ways to get back at the juniors who think they can park in the senior parking lot. Saran-wrap anyone?

3. Figure out as many different ways can to cut up your Homecoming outfit to show as much skin as possible but “keep it classy” of course.

4. Distract history teacher Matt Torrens by asking him questions about Petaluma and stealing from the pizza boy.

5. Go out to the bleachers and cheer for the freshmen running the mile in their mandatory P.E. classes.

6. Teach yourself calculus; it will help you fit in.

7. Plant Whoopie cushions around the room and watch in glee as your teacher and peers make some unexpected noises.

8. Take a “bathroom” break and go creep your friends’ classes.

9. Make a Starbucks run during tutorial. Not that it’s against the rules or anything …

10. Pinch yourself. Better yet, pinch the person next to you.